by Corey Arterian

Many students on campus use a contraption called the bicycle; however, a small percentage of said students actually exhibit an ability to properly use the two-wheeled mode of transportation. I, for one, find the whole idea far too frightening. Trying to navigate my way through a sea of students, whilst balancing? No thank you! I have decided to stick with the old school way of moving about. You may have heard of it, it’s called walking.

You see many of us were lucky enough to be born with functioning legs and have made use of them through the power of step. I was attracted to this archaic mode of transportation mostly because it was free, whereas I not only have to pay for a bicycle, I actually have to go out and find one. I hoped that the walkers and the bicycle riders on campus could coexist and live in peace, however, the different styles of moving has left many bruised and scraped from “accidents.”

Walkers have been left helpless under the relentless tread of bicycle tires. Some riders have become reckless, trying to steer and talk on their cellular devices, causing the rider to zigzag all over the place. It’s almost as if they were intoxicated! This effect is worsened when they try to type on their electronic devices as they ride. Certainly this is hazardous to pedestrians as well as other riders. I have witnessed many accidents where one out of control rider crashes into another as they both fall into a heap of metal and flesh. The madness must end! I have to wonder: is the campus so astronomically vast for some people that they can’t possibly make their way through by foot? Perhaps I have some innate physical ability that makes me an Olympic walker, while others cannot stand to trek the distance. But I cannot believe this to be the case; I have seen many others take on the feat of walking a half-mile without the use of a bike. So, why does one need to use this dangerous machine?

I have been lead to believe that time is the deciding factor in this issue. Many students have stated that riding a bicycle gets them to their destination faster. This seems like a valid reason, however, I often see riders struggling to stay on their two wheels because the pedestrian traffic is so backed up that they aren’t really riding their bicycle; rather they are balancing on it as they move millimeter by millimeter. Certainly, they cannot be saving time in this instance. Yet, for some reason, they are unwilling to step off the bike and walk. Is there a fear of walking? Or perhaps these USC citizens have grown attached to their two-wheelers. No matter the reason, the mass of riders on campus has become  dangerous. Bicycles of all colors and designs seem to multiply outside of every campus buildings. The bicycle population has grown too high!

But I am being rash. Maybe it isn’t the poor bicycle’s fault. After careful contemplation, I recognize that the problem has to do with the mass of students that are on campus throughout the day. Walkways become congested, as people bump into each other. This already hairy situation is worsened with bicycles, which have a hard time navigating through the thin walkways and slow walkers. But not only this, the average bicycle rider is not talented enough to get through this maze unscathed. Riding a bicycle down the street is one thing, but riding it down a narrow walkway with subtle turns in between meandering people? That takes some serious talent. The solution to the issue: lose the bike.

I know, I know. Walking is so tiring, it takes forever, you’ll never get to class on time, your legs hurt, blah, blah, blah. But consider this, when walking you can actually enjoy the scenery, whereas on a bicycle you’re too focused on not hitting the countless bodies blocking your way. And no offense, but we could all use the exercise.