by Michael Sullivan

Observe and Report (2009)
Dir. Jody Hill
Starring Seth Rogen, Ray Liotta, Michael Peña and  Anna Faris
MPAA: R

Contrary to my thoughts going in, Observe and Report (2009) has absolutely zero involvement from super-producer/director/writer Judd Apatow, though it has the feeling of an “Apatow” film. And as much fun as these films were at first (I could watch The 40 Year Old Virgin (2005) on repeat for week), the jokes are getting old and the main players are getting older.

Things really pick up in mall cop Ronnie Barnhardt’s (Seth Rogen) life when a chain of robberies and a serial flasher threaten the peace at Forest Ridge Mall. We follow Ronnie as he tries to solve the dual mysteries of thief and flasher, while attempting to win the heart of cosmetics department employee Brandi (Anna Faris) and secretly applying for a job in the real police force—his lifelong dream.

For the type movie that hinges on the likability of its core characters, it seems as though writer/director Jody Hill has gone to great lengths to make us not care one bit about these people. First, Seth Rogen is the least charming he has ever been on film. I can’t seem to tell to what extent his character’s offensiveness is the fault of Hill’s writing, or of Rogen’s acting. Try as he might, he reads as a mean, overweight, overtly authoritarian tyrant—not good protagonist material. His core circle consists of a pair of trigger-happy but deadpan Asian twins (John and Matt Yuan), a lisping coke-addict (Michael Peña ), and a fresh-out-of-high-school introvert (Jesse Plemons). And the unfortunate truth is, we don’t care even remotely about a single one.

Surprisingly enough, the women in this film bend over backwards to charm. Anna Faris, though similarly unpleasant given of the nature of her character, is a delight to watch on screen, and accounted for the few the times I laughed during this film. Celia Weston, as Ronnie Bernhardt’s mom, has superb comedic timing and excellent facial expressions. And finally, the crowning glory, Collette Wolfe as Nell, the wheelchair-bound doughnut shop employee who harbors a secret crush on Ronnie, feels like she belongs in a different film: her acting is excellent and she’s as cute as a button. We fall in love with her instantly and continue to love her throughout. She is, single-handedly, the only reason Observe and Report may be worth watching. Halfway through the film, Wolfe’s Nell attempts to swallow her tears in front of love interest Ronnie, and the audience finds itself attempting to swallow tears as well. She is a precious gem in the middle of this film’s cold, stony exterior.

In terms of other elements, there isn’t much to be said; the film is dreadful, and visually, the shots are done by-the-book. In terms of sound design, the soundtrack suits the film excellently and the mixing is appropriate and fun, so full marks there, but unfortunately the soundtrack wasn’t enough to carry this bad film.

Verdict: RENT it on DVD. And that’s only if you absolutely love this kind of film. Most people can just skip this one—the “Apatow” film has been done before, and better, so don’t bother with Observe and Report. It might be worth a die-hard fans’ time when it comes out on DVD packed with bonus features, but it is absolutely not worth a $10 trip to the theater. Keep your cash in your pocket and forget about it.