By Corey Arterian

Don’t let the title of this article alarm you. I am not talking about the newest “Team Jacob” hoodie from Hot Topic. No, I am referring to a new book coming out next Tuesday entitled Nightlight, the newest parody from Harvard Lampoon, the university’s undergraduate spoof publishers. The book revolves around characters Bella Goose and Edwart Mullen (loosely based on Bella Swan and Edward Cullen).

Perhaps I am getting ahead of myself by saying that this book is awesome. I really don’t even need to read it to know that this is true. I certainly plan on reading it, but nonetheless, the mere thought of something making fun of Twilight in book form leaves this bookworm giddy.

Here is an excerpt from the book, which like the series it parodies, is written from Bella's point of view:

“About three things I was absolutely certain, First, Edwart was most likely my soul mate, maybe. Second, there was a vampire part of him—which I assumed was wildly out of his control—that wanted me dead. And third, I unconditionally, irrevocably, impenetrably, heterogeneously, gynecologically, and disreputably wished he had kissed me.”

To be contrasted with its twin passage from Twilight:

“About three things I was certain. First, Edward Cullen was a vampire. Second, there was a part of him, and I don't know how dominant that part might be, that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.”

Devoted readers of The Seesaw already know my sincere dislike for the Twilight series. I have yet to understand why anyone can seriously, with a brain in their head, defend it as a piece of literature. Entertaining? Sure! I laughed my face off. A timeless love story? Dear God in heaven, I hope not!

However, I was surprised to find that there were students, who attend Harvard no less, that have some qualms about this parody. Freshman Pamela M. Rosario Perez was quoted in The Harvard Crimson saying, “I hope the Lampoon does it in good taste, or else they will offend a lot of Twilight fans.”

Good point, Pamela. We can only hope that the distinguished, classy comedic writers at the Lampoon don’t offend anyone. Heaven forbid! Because, that’s really what the Lampoon is all about.

As if they would care about offending people with a sad, sad obsession with probably the most ridiculous series to ever print. And, perhaps this is rude, but I think die-hard fans of the Twilight series could use some offending.

The fact of the matter is this: the Twilight series is a piece of comedy gold on its own, but with a little tweaking courtesy of one of the most renowned comedic writing groups in the country, it’s a comedic goldmine. And that’s certainly worth tapping into.