Don’t let the title of this article alarm you. I am not talking about the newest “Team Jacob” hoodie from Hot Topic. No, I am referring to a new book coming out next Tuesday entitled Nightlight, the newest parody from Harvard Lampoon, the university’s undergraduate spoof publishers. The book revolves around characters Bella Goose and Edwart Mullen (loosely based on Bella Swan and Edward Cullen). Perhaps I am getting ahead of myself by saying that this book is awesome. I really don’t even need to read it to know that this is true. I certainly plan on reading it, but nonetheless, the mere thought of something making fun of Twilight in book form leaves this bookworm giddy. Continue reading...

A recent episode of Saturday Night Live featured an opening act which placed Fred Armisen in his most notable role as President Barack Obama. The skit situated President Obama at his desk in the oval office, speaking to America about the “change” that he has brought since coming into office almost nine months ago. The skit poked fun at President Obama’s recent failure in trying to bring the 2016 Olympics to Chicago. Furthering this type of result, the President gave a checklist about the successes or failures of the policies that he has tried to enact since getting into office. The list showed that none of the President’s policies or promises has been carried through as of yet. Healthcare reform…no. Troops out of Iraq…no. Gays in the military…no. And, the list goes on and on. Continue reading...

One thing I’ve noticed about people here is their urge to be “cool”. Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind seeing guys around wearing Smalls when they really should be wearing Large. In fact, I applaud them for taking initiative in conserving fabric. God knows how many girls don’t have enough of it. But after witnessing people trip for the umpteenth time at night while wearing D&G shades, I have had enough. Somebody once said, “If you can’t beat them, join them.” So I did. I went and got myself a scooter. Continue reading...

Many students on campus use a contraption called the bicycle; however, a small percentage of said students actually exhibit an ability to properly use the two-wheeled mode of transportation. I, for one, find the whole idea far too frightening. Trying to navigate my way through a sea of students, whilst balancing? No thank you! I have decided to stick with the old school way of moving about. You may have heard of it, it’s called walking. Continue reading...

“Today, my girlfriend dumped me proclaiming she wanted someone more like her ‘Edward.’ I asked her who Edward was. She held up a copy of her ‘Twilight’ book. She was talking about a fictional vampire. FML.” Continue reading...